So I have had just a little time to evaluate other’s reaction to my Breast Cancer Diagnosis. I’ve categorized family and friends by these fabricated characters. I hope this can make you laugh because of course, I’ve taken a few liberties and exaggerated just a tad!!
I can see myself in ALL OF THESE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!! Usually I am a cross between Cheerleader Charlie, Comforter Collette, and Avoid-u Alicia, but I’ve been known to kick into all of them simultaneously.
This is meant to make you laugh. I hope it does!!
Buffalo Bull Bonnie– Buffalo Bull Bonnie just charges in and is determined that you will get better. She will do whatever it takes to help you. By sheer will and determination, YOU WILL GET BETTER. Now listen, stand on your head while simultaneously drinking the juice of this rare fruit, Pomedora Apricota organically grown in rain forests of Belize and flown in on a germ-free airplane.
Laughing Larry – Laughing Larry just wants to make you laugh and pretend that you are normal. His goal is to make you feel better by making you laugh and forget your troubles. Did you see that Dateline report where that woman had Breast Cancer, she survived, and then became a comedian on Saturday Night Live? No, well, here are her 242 jokes.
Cheerleader Charlie – Cheeryleader Charlie wants to rah rah rah you through the process. Think only positive thoughts and don’t you dare cry ever. Your team will win. Okay, now hold these poms poms just like this. See was that so hard? Now if you hold them just right and say this cheer, you will be healed!!
Avoid-u Alicia – Avoid-u Alicia can’t handle your diagnosis and just pretends that everything is status quo. You run into her in the grocery store, you know she knows. Gosh, can you believe the price of gasoline this week? Oh, Jimmy had a cold, but he’s doing better. Did you watch the World Series? Oh, I heard Target is having a sale on clothes pins.
Crying Camille – Crying Camille is very emotional over you. Perhaps she has been through this before, and the emotional toll it takes on her is overwhelming. This time it is you comforting her. Don’t cry, Camille. You are going to be just fine. Camille, okay, okay, okay, quit crying. Everything is going to be okay.
Patient Paul – Patient Paul wants you to know that whatever you are facing, his situation has been far worse. Do you remember when I had my prostate, my liver, my left leg, right arm, and nose cut off in 1989 at the Fukishima Hospital in Japan? Look at me, I’m still alive, but Poor Aunt Sally died of Breast Cancer and had a horrible death.
Shameful Sarah – Shameful Sarah knows it is definitely something you did. Shameful Sarah will list your limitations and weaknesses because you definitely did something to cause this! Remember when you slept with that blue lightbulb on while on vacation in Mexico after you drank homemade tequilla that cost 42 pesos from that guy on the beach? Yep, you caused it! That was it!
Comforter Collette and Counselor Christopher – Comforter Collette and Counselor Christopher know just what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Well we did graduate magna cum laude from the University of SaiPan in overseas studies, microbiology, psychology and immunology.
All joking and laughing aside, one thing I know in my observations of how friends and family handle your diagnosis – THEY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. It is a blessing being able to know how much they do really love you and what they think of you as a person. THAT HAS AMAZING HEALING POWER.
I appreciate all my friends and family and know they care, they love me, and they want to help me. The outpouring of love and support is beyond amazing. I am humbled and overwhelmed by their caring, their generosity, their prayers,their gifts and their kindness. How can I be so blessed?