I wrote the initial post when I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer 5 months ago. I had to delete it and change it to this post. I kind of fell into the same trap everyone else does. If you stay positive, everything will be okay. Well, I found out otherwise in the darkest days.
You have to be realistic about a positive attitude. If you have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, you are facing a serious illness that could result in death. That is the reality. So if you just tell yourself “be positive” and think all of the other emotions and feelings will go away, they will not. In fact, they will spring up even more.
I have become practical about being positive. On my really good days it is much easier to say, “I feel positive.” During the darkest days of chemotherapy, I couldn’t come up with a positive thought if I tried. And if someone shot off a glib remark like “be positive” or “stay positive”, I wanted to hit them or choke them.
Positive is knowing the realities of your diagnosis, knowing the reality of the treatment you are going through, and then knowing that somewhere in the deepest recesses of your soul, you and your God can get through this even if today it doesn’t feel like it. Being positive is that glimmer of hope on the horizon.
Today I write this after a mastectomy, lymph node dissection and now starting my fourth month of chemotherapy. This is subject to change as I continue the journey…