Breast Cancer Survivor

Suddenly a tiny ray of light appears on the horizon.  I don’t know why.  I didn’t do anything to cause it. It’s been so long since there has been any, I am not quite sure that is what it really is.  But this is a new sense, a new feeling.  It is a glimpse, just a flash that there could be a new life at the end of this journey.  Instinctively I know it isn’t the same life I had.  But it is a future life that I believe is there.  I cling to that sliver of hope. 

Breast Cancer Survivor.  I never related to that labeling, but I think this is what might be happening to me.  Survivor.     That word is bantered around alot in a much too casual way.   I just looked up the definition of “survivor”:  “A person who manages to live through a situation that often causes death.”   Hmmm, I qualify and that makes particular sense to me since this was the week that I felt like I was dying, wanted to die, prayed to die but didn’t.   I lived.

Oh, we’ve all watched those Breast Cancer commercials, where they show all those women, wearing their pink t shirts, some bald, some not, some young, some old, some walking, some riding bicycles, they are all smiling, and there is some announcer saying that these are the faces of Breast Cancer Survivors.   That is so deceptive.   

I want a commercial that shows the woman crying at the hospital contemplating the removal of her breasts, facing the reality of her death as she looks at her young children and tries to explain, looking down at her scars where her breasts used to be, getting the dreaded toxic chemotherapy, and at home puking her guts out and looking like she will die at any moment.   That’s the reality.  You earn more than a pink t-shirt after all of this and a walk around a stadium with balloons and a marching band.  You have been through combat, and they give you a pink ribbon. 

I think an authentic Survivor has started to be born within me.  I feel a mission coming on. 



  1. HI, I too had the dreaded “C” last year… twice. But when my original breast tried to kill me, I didn’t have a problem telling my surgeon to take those bad boys… Now, 6 months post double MX with immediate reconstruction, I can honestly say I would go the same route if I had to do it over again… I however opted OUT of Radiation and I was not a candidate for Chemo, Thank the Lord…
    Today is my birthday. I am 49 and truly blessed to be alive… I asked my co-workers to wear Pink to honor the fact that I even have a birthday… Please remember, they are just boobs… on the outside, not the inside… Not your brain thankfully.
    I will pray for your continued healing. And that you can see the light at the end of your tunnel.

  2. Happy Birthday, Deidre’, thanks for sharing your story! I celebrate with you that you have a birthday to celebrate! May you have many years of birthdays!
    My best to you!

  3. Thanks Denise. My sister’s name is Denice 🙂 I celebrate with you too. Every day is special after going through what we have endured.

  4. I just realized today is my exact 6 month anniversary with my DMX… It was September 29th. 10 hour surgery, 4 days in the hospital, 1 in ICU. I did have a revision in December to smooth scars and create nipples. I probably won’t get tattoos done. I’m okay with white ones for now. 🙂 I would still travel the same road should I have to make the same decisions.

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