This Blog is so meaningful to me. I am so thankful I followed my intuition to chronicle my Breast Cancer journey. And here is why…
The letters I get from other women going through Breast Cancer often make me cry. I got two emails from women this week who told me they found my Blog because they were going to quit chemotherapy because it was so awful. The letters were so similar it was shocking they came from two different women in different parts of the country. Both of them said after reading some of my writings about Chemo, they realized that although many people had no idea of what they were going through, they knew I would understand. And because I understood, they were going to keep going through Chemotherapy. Now that is humbling.
It makes me feel like all of my emotions, fears, sorrows and joys are shared by others. And what I sometimes feel are crazy feelings are also felt by others going through the same thing. They aren’t crazy thoughts, they are normal for what we have endured.
One of my sorrows was when a previously understanding friend said to me during my 5th month of Chemotherapy that they missed “Joyful Denise” and “I needed to get out and have some fun.” At that point it was amazing I was even dressed and walking. Fun to me was being able to watch yet another episode of “King of Queens” at 1 am because the steroids were keeping me awake.
Those words of not being understood are extremely painful – still are. So when I get letters from others that I felt what they are feeling, it is very healing to me that God can use my sufferings to help and heal others.
I have also gotten letters from Caregivers, Spouses, and Partners of a loved one going through Breast Cancer. They have told me my writings help them understand what their loved one is going through and as a result, have been able to be a better caregiver.
The tears come and go with the letters I receive. I cherish each and every one and delight in writing to all of you who have written me. Your letters always help me far more than I help you. Invariably, they are always extremely timely.