The Joys and Sorrows of Writing a Breast Cancer Blog

This Blog is so meaningful to me.  I am so thankful I followed my intuition to chronicle my Breast Cancer journey.  And here is why…

The letters I get from other women going through Breast Cancer often make me cry.  I got two emails from women this week who told me they found my Blog because they were going to quit chemotherapy because it was so awful.  The letters were so similar it was shocking they came from two different women in different parts of the country.  Both of them said after reading some of my writings about Chemo, they realized that although many people had no idea of what they were going through, they knew I would understand.  And because I understood, they were going to keep going through Chemotherapy.  Now that is humbling.

It makes me feel like all of my emotions, fears, sorrows and joys are shared by others.  And what I sometimes feel are crazy feelings are also felt by others going through the same thing.  They aren’t crazy thoughts, they are normal for what we have endured.

One of my sorrows was when a previously understanding friend said to me during my 5th month of Chemotherapy that they missed “Joyful Denise” and “I needed to get out and have some fun.”   At that point it was amazing I was even dressed and walking.  Fun to me was being able to watch yet another episode of “King of Queens” at 1 am because the steroids were keeping me awake.

Those words of not being understood are extremely painful – still are.  So when I get letters from others that I felt what they are feeling, it is very healing to me that God can use my sufferings to help and heal others.

I have also gotten letters from Caregivers, Spouses, and Partners of a loved one going through Breast Cancer.  They have told me my writings help them understand what their loved one is going through and as a result, have been able to be a better caregiver.

The tears come and go with the letters I receive.  I cherish each and every one and delight in writing to all of you who have written me. Your letters always help me far more than I help you.  Invariably, they are always extremely timely.

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6 comments

  1. It helps so much to read your blogs. I am about to have my bilateral mastectomy in 8 days. My husband says I should look at the postive when I try to discuss what to expect post-op. I am just trying to be realistic and prepared. Most people say they think I am very optimistic and postive as a rule. But having cancer at 50 and children 14 and 16, I just want to be informed and prepared and talk to someone. Thanks for making this available and helping me feel as normal as I can write now.
    Leesa

    • Leesa, thank you so much for writing me. Being realistic and prepared is so
      much better than being positive. Positive feelings come and go. My thoughts and prayers
      are with you. Denise

    • I hope your mastectomy goes well, I had mine on June 21st and feel almost back to normal, although I have expander s in and they are not the most comfortable. I am 48 and my girls are 19,15 and 12. I know how hard it can be. This site is great..just found it tonight.

      • Hi Maureen, thanks for your good wishes. I actually had my Mastectomy before Chemo and Radiation. Some women have it the other way. I wish you and your family wisdom and grace through this difficult time. If I can assist you in any way, please email me! Denise

  2. I found the chemo to be easier than the double mastectomy which happened July 16. So crazy how everything effects everyone so differently. I understand about people’s painful words. My sister tested positive for brac2 gene and just had a preventative double mastectomy. She has had tons of pains and problems. I could not believe it when she told me what I have been through has been a walk in the park compared to her. So very hurtful to me. Glad she won’t know what it is truly like to have cancer but has devastated she had said such hurtful words. Your blog is great. It gives me inspiration.

    • Hi Julie, thank you so much for your supportive words. I appreciate it.
      I am so sorry that you have been through so much, then to have your sister
      make those comments to you is so hurtful.

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