The Lessons of Cancer…When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

Today I accompanied my mom to assist her in purchasing a new car at a local car dealership. Jim has sold our family quite a few cars over the years. The last time I saw and talked with Jim was a week before I started Chemotherapy 13 months ago. After a little cancer small talk, Jim asked me what I have learned after going through a year of cancer treatment.

I immediately respond with this self-righteous but truthful statement: “I realize that some times I have much patience and compassion for someone who wants to complain to me about their sore thumb (I pulled this body part of the air to use as an example), and other times it seems so small to me I just want to slap them when they start to complain and say ‘if you only knew'”…

Just then, Jim sheepishly pulls his hand out that was hidden from my sight behind his desk. In clear view he shows me his battered thumb that was bloodied, bruised, and scabbed from a fall he had over the weekend.

One lesson I HAVE NOT LEARNED is when to keep my mouth shut!

Funny Things that Happen after a Mastectomy

These are the funniest things that have happened to me since my Mastectomy:

1)  First day of Radiation Therapy and Pat, a middle-age female Radiation Technician, took me back to the radiation room.  She told me to undress from the waist up which I did.  I put on a hospital gown, and in walks this handsome 40 something male.  Pat says, “Oh this is Brad.  He will be your other Rad Tech.”   Brad without missing a beat says, “Oops, you dropped something” and he points to the floor.  There was my foam boob lying on the middle of the radiation room floor.   While I was turning 50 shades of red, Brad says, “We see all kinds of things in the Radiation Room.”

On my last day of Radiation, after getting to know Pat and Brad quite well after 7 weeks of daily visits, Brad tells me he hopes I can control my foam boob in the future!

2)  I had spent the afternoon watching my niece’s then 9 month old darling baby girl, Kayla.  That night, I sat down to watch a little television.  As I did so, I felt something poking me under my prosthesis.    I reached down and there was Kayla’s pacifier which had lodged itself behind the prosthesis!  I had spent an hour earlier in the day looking for that thing!

3)  During Radiation, I could not wear a mastectomy bra because of the radiation burns.  I was walking into a rather nice restaurant to meet some friends.  All at once I felt something come out of the top of my blouse. My foam boob came popping out and was in full view of anyone who was watching!  From then on I used safety pins.

4)  I was at our family cottage sitting outside on lawn chairs with my sister and niece.  It was 100 degrees in Ohio on the 4th of July, so being in safe company, I reached down and pulled out my foam boob trying to cool off a bit. We were all talking and laughing.  Just then, my neighbor walked up, my nephews joined the group, and before I knew it, a crowd of people joined us.  I looked down and suddenly realized my foam boob was still lying on my lap in full view of everyone.  No one said a word, as I tried to nonchalantly push it back under my tank top!

Please check out this amazing pillow/seatbelt cover – I still use mine – so helpful if you had or are having any kind of breast surgery.  Click on image!